Explain how to be angry and supportive of someone at the same time.....please

(Bing images)

Where do I begin with the cluster fuck that was this week?

Romeo got a speeding ticket a few weeks ago.  I told him "it happens to everyone at some point", "don't worry about it", etc.....

I waited until the last minute (procrastination, remember?), only to discover that he must go to traffic court, because the officer ticketed him and checked off that he must appear in court.  I didn't realize that if that box is checked, he MUST go.  There is no option to pay online if that box is checked.  More frustrating was that he had told the officer that he would pay, he couldn't get time off to go to court.  And Romeo didn't even look at it, he just signed and that was that.  So, on Monday the 19th (his court date) I had to call the school and beg someone to let Romeo know he needs to either call me or look at the texts I sent.  Offered to bring him a check to pay the fine, because he never carries the checkbook, nor does he carry much cash & traffic court doesn't accept credit cards.  

Here's what I didn't know.  Because of a conversation he had with a vice-principal of a middle school nearby, who hoped they could bring Romeo on to teach a class that they currently had a substitute teaching, Romeo decided that he would resign his position at his current school, which has (as all teacher contracts have) a 30 day notice requirement.  So that, of course, he could accept another position (that he hadn't even been offered yet) in a more timely manner.  Unfortunately, the principal of his current school accepted his resignation and told him they would waive the 30 day wait requirement.  Oops.

Because he hadn't intended to let me know he resigned.  He figured he had 30 days to find a "good time" to let me know, and that by that time he would already have another teaching post.  Only, as it turns out, he isn't qualified to teach social studies. He is only able to accept math and science positions.  Double oops.

At first, I just brushed it off, and said OK, I understand that you were really unhappy, and at this stage of the game being that unhappy is just not necessary.  Because I too thought he had another position "in the bag", based on what he was telling me.  

The last time Romeo was unemployed it took 8 months for him to find work again.  And truth be told, much of what I have written is my own take on what he was doing.  He has not, and will not, admit to me that that was what was on his mind.  You might think by all this that we have a crappy relationship.....but nothing could be further from the truth.  I really didn't have any idea that he was so miserable at the charter school he was at.  There were signs, but I did what I normally do, and asked, and receiving no real answer, did my best to encourage him that things would get better.  I think I should have discussed it with him in more depth.  

The only bright spot on the horizon at this point is that he has an interview on Monday.  And that the insurance will remain in effect until the end of Oct.  

All I can do now is hope that he is offered a position on Monday, and plan on how to pay our bills if he doesn't. 

Love, 365

Oh. My. God.

John Gray, philosopher

Excerpt from Gray's "Enlightenment's Wake":

It is commonplace that political philosophy was reborn in 1971.  In the interwar period, and then again for a quarter of a century after the Second World War, we are told, skepticism about the subject itself had inhibited any treatment of its fundamental questions that was systematic and comprehensive and, above all, that issued in rationally compelling principles for the evaluation of political institutions and the guidance of political conduct.

Holy crap on a cracker.  I've read these two sentences twice, and I still don't have an effing clue what this dude is talking about.  And this guy writes reallly long sentences:

Whatever else may be questionable in the conventional wisdom, it is sound in its judgement that we were spared the dismal prospect of political philosophy coming under the influence of an anachronistic methodology of conceptual analysis by the publication in 1971 of John Rawls's "A Theory of Justice", in which the classical enterrise of the subject was resumed in an uncompromising and architectonic fashion.

Thats like, totally a whole paragraph all by itself, although sadly for me, there is more.

So, if anyone has any knowledge of philosophy, or John Gray, please comment and explain.  No, really.  Because I'm going to read it, but I can tell you right now, I won't understand what he's talking about.  Hell, I will have to look up architectonic, anachronistic, and probably many others.  So, I better get going.

Love, 365

I just had to.......

Now, do you see why I had too?  LMFAO!

Thanks to "Nobody Asked Me"

Really people, quit being so interesting and funny.

I'm supposed to be studying.

Stasis.

After the rain....

It's been a slow morning.  I've been up since 5am ~ I just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep.  At first I just goofed around, playing games on my phone, or reading my latest book.  After eveyone else was up and about, I was able to make coffee and get on the computer to check if I've received my mid-term grade, but there is still nothing.  I called BYU and they said that written tests are given two weeks for grading, so maybe on Monday or Tuesday I will know.  It's the longest I've ever waited for a grade....another reason I won't be doing this type of class again.  So, I've been studying my new chapter, with frequent breaks to play games, watch news, and organize my notes.  

I suppose I have a bit of ADD ~ doesn't everyone to some degree?  When approaching a task I don't enjoy, I have to break it up into 15 or so minute increments.  Otherwise, I feel my thoughts drifting away:  what to have for dinner, the dog needs to go outside, my coffe cup is empty, a new e-mail comes through.  I wish I had the ability to focus for more than a few minutes at a time, even if the task is a misery.  No, especially if the task is a misery.  In a few weeks I will order the final exam for the course, because it will take a week to get here, but I will have 30 days to take it.  I have to complete everything by Oct 30th.  Ugh.  Why do I do this to myself?

And, while I'm bitching here, I'm really tired of people asking me how much longer it will be before I can graduate.  Because it only serves as a reminder at how long this journey is.  And it is longer than I thought it would be.  I alternate between loving it and hating it.  On a beautiful day like today I am inside sitting on my ass studying (ok, well not RIGHT NOW, ha ha) instead of doing any number of things outside.  I think I will take a walk later, a really long one, empty the head.  Just be.  

I hope you have time to "just be" this weekend too.

Love, 365

Another chapter down.....

The subject of the most recent chapter on the Italian Renaissance was not very eye opening.  As usual, women were used and abused.  Even among the wealthy, you were expected to produce children, and since there wasn't any type of birth control, they continued to do so until they died in childbirth, or weren't able to produce children any more.  If a woman survived all of her pregnancies and childbirth's, she might see two or three children survive, as the mortality rate was 25 to 50%.    Or, perhaps none of the children survived.  It was pretty rough.

You give your husband a dowry, which he is allowed to "manage" ~ and I would think that often this means he pisses it away, and then if he dies, you're on your own.

I wouldn't want to have been alive during the Renaissance, unless I could have been a man.  Typical.

The movie was great ~ but there were moments when the camera would spin around, and I had to look away.  It reminded me of being on a roller coaster.....which makes me sick.  Otherwise, it was really nice to get out!  I don't even remember the last movie we went to see, and in fact we discussed it and neither of us could recall.  I think we need to get out more.   Once I'm done with the Renaissance, I should have a bit more free time.  I just need to keep hurrying along.  Still no freakin' grade on my mid-term, although I didn't really expect to see it show up on Sat or Sun.  That's just stupid.

We've been on the receiving end of rain, that elusive weather phenomena that makes living in the high desert so wonderful.  I've never lived anywhere that smells so wonderful after a rain.  It should be really nice tomorrow morning.

Well, gotta go read some of the book for the honors class.  I'm actually looking forward to it, as it's about the life of Darwin.

Love, 365

Thank goodness it's Saturday.....

Love, Star Trek....we're finally going to the theater to see it this afternoon....

It has been a rather busy Saturday....I volunteered (with pay of course, snicker) to arrive at the office before the carpet cleaners arrived, and wait for them to finish.  Last time they shut the door to the computer server, and they did that again this time.  It locks when you shut the door, so if you don't have a key, it could over heat over the weekend.  Luckily, I have been deemed trustworthy to know where the spare key is, so, unlike the last time, I was able to re-open the door.  The only reason I do this little job is to earn a little extra money.  Considering it was only 1 1/2 hours, I'm not sure it's worth it.  Actually, I think they weren't quite as thorough as they were the previous time they cleaned, but I'm not the one paying the bill.

I have been obsessibly checking the BYU site everyday (sometimes twice) for the grade on my mid-term, but so far nothing.  Really?  More than a week?  Sadly, I have to plan when to "order" the final exam, which I plan to do at the first part of Oct.  The class ends on 10/31 and I am running out of time.  I have a lot to do between now and then.  I was writing notes while listening to the noise of carpet cleaning this morning.  Otherwise it's sitting around playing Candy Crush, which already sucks time away.  I really should delete the game from my phone.

I haven't been feeling very good for the past week.  I think I'm chalking it up to allergies.  I have been head achey, and nauseous.  Last Saturday we were driving to Santa Fe, and I had tell Romeo halfway there that I needed to go back home.  Spent the rest of the day with a migrane.  :-(

Well, I'm going to go get ready for a movie......

Love, 365

Nope.....

I believe I mentioned in a previous post that I finally got off my ass and took the history mid-term (Italian Renaissance, although how you could miss that is beyond me...unless this is the first post on my blog you've ever read).  On Saturday I checked, and they have received the exam.  So, I figured I would check today to see if it has been graded.  Nope.......  I tell myself I will wait another couple of days and check again, but the truth is I will probably check everyday until I see it.  It's quite nerve wracking.

I still need to finish my first paper on how the plague effected Italy and Europe, economically, socially ~ and there's one other point, but I don't recall what it is right now.  I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to get all this done before the end of Oct.

I have an issue at work.....Tess (*not her name) and I are on hourly pay.  At one time in the practice everyone started with an hourly wage that became a salary at some point.  However, the Doc's have decided that from now on, every new hire will remain on hourly wages.  Of course, the first observation I made was "well, that's cheaper for them".  Which is true.  Salaried employees don't get paid for staying late of course, but the truth is, we really don't stay late very often.  Recently one of my salaried co-workers asked me to move up some of the patients at the end of the work day on Friday, so that we could "get out of here early".  This happened about 3 or 4 weeks ago, and I thought it wouldn't be so bad to leave early occasionally.  So, we left about 2 hours earlier than normal.  Then we had the gas explosion, where Comcast workers were putting in cable, and our building was evacuated....again, I left about 2 hours early.  And discovered shortly thereafter that I would not be paid for that particular 2 hours (even though the policy manual assures us of pay if there is a 2 hour delay due to inclement weather during the winter months).  And, to get another pie in the face, my salaried co-worker made sure to let Tess and I know that she was paid for the time off from the gas thingy.  And the office manager justified it with the fact that when we stay late we get paid when they don't, so it all works out.  I suppose.  This last Friday, the same co-worker asked me again to call later patients to come earlier...so we could leave early.  I told her "You know that when we do that it cuts time off of my paycheck"...she replied "I realize tht but...."  and I replied "I think you might feel different if it's your paycheck".  Which basically ended the conversation.  If the Dr. was asking me to do it, no problem.  He's the boss, he signs the paycheck, etc.  So, I've been stewing over it for the past 4 days.  I think I've got to speak to the office manager again.  Damn.  As I've observed before, there really is no such thing as the perfect place to work.

Love, 365