Being with this little guy was the best part of the trip!
I spent the first few days meeting, holding, and gushing over this little cutie. He is just as "easy" as my son said. He really only fusses when he's wet or hungry. Truly a joy! My daughter in law offered me to stay with them, but originally my sister was coming with me and so I had booked a motel. Which was rather a shady place. Motel 6 in Santa Fe is a hell of a lot different from one in Round Rock, Texas. I don't mind the plain decor, the scratchy sheets as long as it's clean (which it was with the exception of the huge roach in the bathroom). There were a few interesting characters in the parking lot. So I thought about flushing the $$ I spent to stay with family....except that there are so many people living in that house that I didn't see room for one more. Maybe next time I will do it though.
After a few days with them I reluctantly said my goodbyes and drove to my Mom's in San Antonio. On the way I stopped at the outlet mall, but I didn't stay long and didn't buy much. At one store I asked if that was the price and she stated they give a whopping (ok, she didn't say whopping, haha) 10% discount over regular retail stores. I think the day of outlet malls is over. The only place I enjoyed was the Williams-Sonoma/Pottery Barn outlet. But as I was looking around, they really don't mark down much in there. And it was HOT. Too hot to walk around for more than an hour. So I continued on...
Mom's vinca's...
My Mom is doing about the same. Very little mobility. Suffering from the effects of Parkinson's. These include depression, loss of sense of smell (which has been true for her for years), dementia, and now a new swallowing problem. She doesn't have the tremors one usually expects to see, but there's plenty of other symptoms. But as I said, she's hanging in there. Her day basically revolves around her tv shows. Some of which I really dislike, like Dr Phil. What a charlatan. But we did some re-decorating and threw out a few things. It felt good to contribute to her care even if for a few hours.
My Mom's caregiver is not doing so well. He has prostrate cancer that invaded his colon. He had treatment for that, but now he has cancer in his lymph nodes, so he's having more treatments. Sort of like a genetic form of chemo. My sister and I discussed what to do when he passes. Which is basically placing Mom in a nursing home, cleaning out and selling the house. That will be a really sad day for all of us. I wondered if we should find a facility nearer my sister, but that would put her too far away from all the doctors she sees. But it's in the back of my mind all the time.
I spent two days with Mom, driving back to Comfort in the evening ~ which is it's own adventure. I10 has been under construction since before I moved, over 20 years ago. Between 5 and 6:30, it's crazy now that so many people who work in SA live outside of it's boundaries. My sister used to do the hour drive there and back every day until she gave that up to work from home.
My time on the ranch ~ my brother-in-law's place ~ is normally so peaceful. Now that he is recuperating from breaking his tibia and fibula (the surgeon said he very nearly lost his leg due to the damage to those bones) my sister has become the sole care giver, keeper of the cattle, donkeys, goat and chickens that they have. Romeo voiced the thought that living in the country, far from other family members has it's downside. The accident happened Aug 17th, and she's been doing all of this since then, and he won't be able to put pressure on that leg until December. I wish I could have stayed longer to help everyone out. And shamefully, I was grateful to get back to my normal life.
So it was a bittersweet trip. Fun at times, tragic at times.
I didn't mention that Southwest gave me a voucher for the price of my trip, so I will be using that to return next year. But I'm not going in Aug/Sept again, I will try for March or April. By that time my brother in law will be getting around on his own, and we may know more of the future of my Mother's caregiver. And I'll get to see that lovely little boy again!
Love, 365
A few minutes of a baby's giggling is worth hours of fussing...if he doesn't fuss, so much the better.
ReplyDeleteI love Dr. Phil, though he is a bit of a charlatan, I think it is a Howard Cosell kind of thing where I love to hate him.
Yes, he was a dear, and I certainly had a great time getting to know him!
DeleteDr Phil, really? I can't stand to watch his show. Did you see the one with the 17 year old who gets $1,000 a month allowance and uses it to buy all that designer stuff? I wondered if that was fake. I just can't imagine.
That grandbaby is adorable!
ReplyDeleteI learned when dad got dementia that Parkinson soon follows and I also learned that losing your sense of smell means Alzheimers. Wild right? I'm sorry you have to deal with all that, it is so difficult to watch our parents slowly revert to children and having to be cared for like this. As you know my Dad had dementia and parkinsons. He didn't shake much but lost his balance a lot. At the end his hands shook but still not like you'd think. FYI...Dr Phil's wife is even more annoying!! My silly husband loves to watch the show and I can't take it.
I'm not sure if my Mom lost her sense of smell due to medications she was taking, but I do remember reading some of the symptoms of Parkinson's and loss of the sense of smell was one of them. Mentally she is doing ok ~ she just can't remember what they had for dinner the night before, or whether or not the Cowboy's won the football game. Of course she remembers stuff that happened 20 years and more ago with a fair amount of clarity.
DeleteAnd yeah, when I watch her use her walker to the restroom, I just hold my breath. She is so unsteady.
*****I guess every couple has shows that the other doesn't enjoy! Usually when Romeo watches something I don't want to watch I just play games on my i pad. :-)
The baby is truly sweet and adorable. So glad you got to spend time with him.
ReplyDeleteDr. Phil has been on my feces roster for many, many years. I had a friend who was invited to bring her homeschooled kids to a taping. They were invited under false pretenses, told that "Dr." Phil wanted to say good stuff about homeschooling. Instead, the audience was mostly bused-in high school kids who were coached on catcalling, booing and other obnoxious ways of shouting over the few people on the panel. It was a shitshow. Which is a good way of describing Phil's show, too... a shitshow.
Yes, I think most of his shows are contrived to spark controversy and outrage. Which the one I saw at my Mother's certainly did. It's a waste of my time.
DeleteSounds like you have a lot on your mind. There comes a time when we have to make some tough decisions in regards to our parents. I hope you are able to come up with something that suits most people involved. What an adorable little guy, though!! I like Dr. Phil about as much as I like Dr. Oz. (that would be, not much). -Jenn
ReplyDeleteGuilt over living so far away that I can't really help? Check. Guilt that I'm relieved to be living so far away that I can't really help? Check. I do wish I lived close enough to have a real relationship with my grandchildren. And yet, I really don't like the weather or traffic of Texas. Albuquerque is the largest city in New Mexico, but it still has a small town feel, and despite the downside of living here, at this point I don't want to live anywhere else.
DeleteWith all that hit you with care and problems of your Mom and her caregiver, having those hours with that sweet sweet baby.
ReplyDeleteWe live at least 1800 miles away from my loved ones. One is a toddler boy who has the best laugh, and the other is due at the end of October. Living so far from babies and family is painful.
Agreed! It's so difficult. And the desire is there for sure ~ I would love to have a close relationship with them. I did not have that with my Grandmother, who lived in Pennsylvania while we lived in Texas, so I always wondered what it would be like to be around her on a more regular basis. I'm hoping that when the youngest one is a bit older we can do facetime chats on the phone. The 9 year old is autistic and although we've tried, facetime just doesn't work.
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