June 22, 2014

A belated Father's Day post....

New Mexico sunset ~ from my backyard.

A week ago, I read the Boston Herald piece written by Suldog.  It was a wonderful tribute.  And I considered writing one about my own father.  But, in the end I honored my own husband and decided I would write about my father later on.

~He passed away 5 years ago.  He was undergoing lung cancer treatment, which metastasized to his brain.  It was quick and relatively painless.  My sister, my two boys and I had gone to visit him, because his wife had called and told me that if I wanted to see him, I'd best do it soon.  I had not seen, nor spoken to him for nearly 10 years, and only sporadically for the 15 years before that.

  It's a long and painful story to tell.....why we hadn't spoken to each other....one that I don't want to elaborate on.  Neither my sister or I had any idea that he had been battling cancer, as he never called us.  His wife Lucy, (not our Mom, as you may have guessed) treated us with disdain....because she had no idea of the history we shared.  It doesn't matter now, but at the time there was a tiny part of me that wanted to explain so that she wouldn't have such a low opinion of us.  When she posted his obituary, she neglected to mention that he had two daughters and four grandchildren.  It was as though we didn't exist....but I understood, because she thought that he had tried to call us from time to time, and apparently "we" never returned his calls.  It's all water under the bridge.

  My father was in the Air Force.  Spent 3 years in Vietnam.  He had an abusive father, which he then worked out of his system by being abusive himself.  However, that last visit, I had the opportunity to hug him, and whisper to him that I forgive him.  I wished him peace.  That was the last time I spoke to him, and you know?  I am so glad I was able to say goodbye.  So even though Lucy was unkind, she managed to give me closure, and hopefully, a measure of peace to my Dad.  

Love, 365

2 comments:

  1. A great tribute. It's so good that you could heal from the past and find closure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Michelle. I'm not sure the healing is complete yet, and perhaps will never be, but I'm working on it!

      Delete

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