December 27, 2014

My darker side.....

Courtesy Google images.

Lately I've been thinking of my choices....nah, nothing mind blowing or anything, but why I like sad songs, why I prefer "dark" movies (not horror, although I do love a good zombie flik).  If you listened to my i-pod you might look at me in horror.  I have to watch many movies of my choice when Romeo isn't home "Wow, how depressing" or "Do we have to watch this?".  Case in point, I ran across a movie I'd never seen before called 8mm...Nicholas Cage is in it (OK, whatever, I do like some of his movies & think he's a good guy).  Very dark movie about a PI who is looking to bring to justice a group of men who made a snuff film that was real.  

And after a bit of thought I realized what I like is the pursuit of JUSTICE.  This is why I like dark movies like 8mm, Silence of the Lambs (altho there wasn't as much justice in that one), Citizen X.  I suppose that there have been some crappy situations I have got myself into, and I'm constantly seeking either justice or closure.   Still looking in some instances, got it in others.  I suppose that there are times that I wish I had had that fairy tale childhood, but that just didn't happen.  It wasn't terrible.  It just wasn't great.  It happens, and probably happens more often than we know.  And I sometimes make terrible decisions based on my childhood experiences.  

Lukily I have a wonderful husband and kids.  I have a wonderful support system of friends and family.  I'm very fortunate in many ways, which takes the sting out of some of the crappy parts.  But, it's kinda weird.  I accept that about myself.  

Love, 365

1 comment:

  1. Eric likes to watch reality shows. He particularly likes shows like Cops, where they bust a variety of losers and assholes. It was hard for me to figure out, since he grew up surrounded by a lot of those same kinds of people, or at least after his drunk of a mother started dragging him from man to man and bar to bar. Shitty childhood. I finally figured out that he likes seeing them get busted. He was helpless as a kid, seeing that same kind of stuff.

    So I don't think you're weird... I *get* it.

    ReplyDelete

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