Depression.....anxiety......got any prozac?

Image stolen from: izismile.com

In case you haven't carefully considered the above cartoon, look again........you see it?  Everyone is thinking they are totally inadequate/behind the times/lame/stupid/not living up to your potential, etc.  And yet, when we are feeling these feelings, we are focused only on ourselves.  That's the way it works.  Because rarely do others admit that they feel inadequate~lame~etc.  I know when I feel this way, I certainly don't admit it to most of the people I know.  I tried to explain it to my Mom once, and after a lengthy silence on the phone, she basically told me to get over it.  Yeah, my Mom ain't no psychiatrist (and probably doesn't think they could help anyway, nothing's as good as giving those bootstraps a good yank).  So this is how I live, when I feel depressed or anxience, I give myself a good talking to......."look at all your blessings!  You have a nice place to live, you're never hungry, no one beats you up, etc, etc"  Sure, it helps.  All of that is true. But how do I tell my inner voice to stop saying "you're a loser"?  

I'm coming out of the closet.

Even when writing in this blog, I make sure to not dwell on the negatives.  I'm hiding.  I want to show a brave, happy face.  All is well!  See???

I've been giving all of this more thought than it deserves, following the death/suicide of Robin Williams.  It just got me thinking about it more.  

Don't get me wrong ~ I'm not considering suicide.  Far from it.  What I want is to feel confident.  That I'm worthy of respect.  That I deserve to feel happy.  To quit feeling like I just don't measure up.  

I'm aware of it....I just can't quite figure out how to stop being so negative to myself, when I work so hard to be constructive when giving advise to someone else.  Ironic, isn't it?  And very very frustrating.  I continue to work on it...and it does help to realize that, like the cartoon up there, I'm not alone in feeling this way.

Love, 365