Did too........did not........

 

On our way back home from Texas we stopped in Las Cruces to spend the night before continuing on.  Tired and hungry, I went online to order some food close to us and found this charming restaurant.  I ordered online, but something happened while ordering...they charged my card, but said the order wasn't completed.  Oh, and that they would refund me the 25.78 in a few days.  But that didn't happen.  I figured I would hear from them in a few days.  But I did not. 5 days later my Mom passed away, and all of this went to the back burner.

Well, recently I looked into it and I still haven't been refunded. So I called the restaurant, and the person who answered said that he saw the order, but that I had never been charged.  I disagreed.  "It's on my bank statement, two charges on the same day".  Still, he argued with me.  Now I'm getting mad.  And he's no longer listening, so I hang up.  And called my bank to dispute the charge.

If he hadn't been such a but head, I probably would have just let it drop....it's only about $26.  But he had to be a jerk, and that riles me up.  I did enjoy the food, but it wasn't worth $50.  Ugh.  I really don't need this kind of frustration right now.  

None of us know why a particular co-worker is having some sort of personal crisis, but she is not doing her job (meaning, leaving me to handle everything up front, which is more than a one person job).  I asked her yesterday "Is something wrong?", but all I got was a "no".  Today was a repeat of yesterday afternoon.  The OM helped me quite a bit.  Truthfully I was a bit bugged that she just let her do what she was doing (haha, which was not assisting at the front desk).  So, I guess what I'm learning from this is that if I'm in a crappy mood because of something, it's OK for me to not help anyone else.  There are normally 4 people at the front desk, but the last day and a half there have only been the two of us.

Maybe I'm just letting things get to me.  '

I'm too sensitive.  I've been told that many times.  I take things too personally.  I don't stand up for myself, etc.  I wish I didn't have to go in tomorrow.  Blech.  Retirement is sitting off in the distance waving me forward.

Love, 365

Monday, Monday......

 

I don't recall if I mentioned that I finally broke down and bought a new sewing machine.  I had never heard of Elna, which is a Swiss brand, which is manufactured in Taiwan.  Go figure.  Anyway, I previously had a really ancient Singer, that was once my Mom's.  And that machine was made from 1985-1988.  Translation: old, but the darn thing still works fairly well.  It does need a tune up, but that would probably cost $150 or so.  My sister, who is an accomplished sewer, suggested it was time for a new machine.  Romeo thought so too.  So, now I have a new machine and an old one that I need to give away.  I want to give it to someone who doesn't have one, and would like to have it for minor sewing projects.  It'll take a bit of investigation to find someone to give the old one to.  I  have it all, the bobbins, instruction booklet, accessories.  Oh, yeah, I need to look for those and package them up.

The funny part of all this was me trying to figure out how to do simple things, like fill a bobbin and use the fancy self-threading device, and how you're supposed to change the sewing foot.  I failed at all three before I took my basics class today.  Although I did finally get the sewing foot on successfully once.  :D  Now I have been instructed.  Hopefully I will remember how to do it next weekend.  Things have changed a lot in 33-35 years. 

I also had an ultrasound of my upper abdomen.  My doc wants to see if there's some issue with my kidneys that is causing the constant uti's.  I had also asked her if she thought my liver was enlarged, so they scanned it too.  I should hear something in 3-4 days.  Hopefully all is minor or negative.   Once you've had a cancer diagnosis, everything is possibly cancer.  Better not, dang it.  Better not.  As far as the liver is concerned, I can't blame it on drinking....I only have a driink a few times a year.  Romeo doesn't like to drink (alcoholic Mom), so I just don't, even though there are times when I'd like to have a little something after work.  I am not really a wine drinker, but I do like beer, margaritas, the occasional martini.  So, send those good vibes my way, would ya?

I hope y'all have a great week!

Love, 365

Happy Friday to you all!............

 

Yesterday morning the sky was just beautiful.  I took this photo while walking to the office door before work.  

Well, friends!  It has been an interesting summer, no?  Full of all sorts of challenges ~ I would say ups and downs, but there really haven't been very many "ups".  Mostly it has been great losses, and huge frustrations.  Every time I think we're done with the downs, I discover there's more.  But, hey, I just can't sustain that kind of sadness for too long.  It's my nature to look at the sunny side of life.  I think I annoy people with my "silver lining" way of looking at things.  Could be worse, though, right?  

I have my moments ~ like the last post.  I stand by that too, I guess it is my failing that I cannot fathom why people persist in believing the vaccine is  ~  whatever it is they believe.  And for the reasons that most can't articulate, or maybe I'm too stupid to understand.  Could be both.  But whatever.  I am "over it" as they say, although I still have to deal with it at work.  

36 weeks.  That's what I have left before retirement.  It doesn't sound too long, does it!  There are two of us that will retire at the end of May.  I'm giving a good bit of notice, but the other person says she is only giving them a week.  I bet our OM will retire before I do.....that should make life interesting.

I am planning to obtain my passport.  I've never had one.  Truth is, I may get it and never use it.  But I want the opportunity to travel to Europe (no, I've never visited).  I lived in Japan as a child, and visited Canada, but that's pretty much it. 

Well, I hope you all have a great weekend!  

Love, 365

It's apparently all or none........

 

**Before I begin, recently one of my coworkers asked me if I ever write about them on my blog.  I said no.  I lied.  I doubt seriously that any of them has any knowledge of blogging (for one), nor has enough interest to search for more than 5 minutes.

This week was interesting.  Ms. Loud had to go out of town because her Uncle was dying, and they are very close.  He sadly passed away two days ago.  Apparently he had terminal liver cancer.  

In the meantime, on Tuesday, one of our dental assistants left abruptly.  We weren't given any information about why.  Was she fired?  Sick?  Did she quit?  No one knew....lots of speculation, gossip, etc.  Later in the day someone discovered that she had a positive Covid test.  Someone said one of our patients called in last week to report they were positive, and she had worked on that patient.  Of course, there is no way to know how she was infected.

We also noticed that about an hour later, there was a mandatory staff meeting on the schedule for the next day.  Still no confirmation or information on why she is gone.   

Yesterday we had the meeting ~ and "to protect the identity of the person" they admitted without the name,  that she/he/it is positive for covid.  I don't know about anyone else, but I thought that statement was stupid.  We all know who it is.  When you have a staff of 17, and one person is out.....only a moron would wonder to themselves, "gee, I wonder who it is?".  They discussed the complaints our office received about staff who weren't wearing their masks or were wearing them incorrectly (yes, we have one person who's nose is hanging out all the time).  The doc's are upset about this, and the view that patients have that our office might not be safe.  Although I agree with them, I think this is all over-blown.  We have been working as we are right now, for 1 1/2 years and this is the first time we've had a staff member test positive.  I've been waiting for this day.  We lean over patients faces all day long for pete's sake.  

Then, they stated that our non-vaccinated staff will, in the near future, be required to be tested every week.  And the fireworks exploded.  One staff member went on and on, and it was obvious she was taking it all very personally.  After hashing it out a bit, they decided our office would buy the test kits for testing instead of asking them to go to a testing center, which does seem fair to me.  I would hate to have to go to one of those places every week. I was shocked to learn that to buy test kits for the number of un-vaccinated to be tested each week for two months would cost the practice over $1,000.  But one person said she refused to be tested every week.  Period.  

While our doc's are trying to figure out where to go from here, there was lots of gossip, complaints, speculation.  I was laying as low as I could, trying not to get dragged into it.  Dreading when Ms. Loud returned to work, which was today.  And I was right to be concerned. 

Apparently she, and a few of the other non-vaccinated staff agreed that they would be ok with testing if everyone is tested.  Ms. Loud was saying that it's discrimination to require testing only from those without the jab.  Then she compared it to Christians and Jews, and then I had to say it's nothing like that, omg, that's a ridiculous comparison.  Then I turned around to my desk and said no more.  

Our OM (office manager) confided that if the doc's fold on their plan she will retire.  Which she is eventually planning on doing anyway, but she's tired of this situation that she knew would come, and has been trying to discuss with them for a year.  I have no idea what will ensue.  If I had all my ducks lined up I would give my notice tomorrow.  I am sick and tired of these non-vaccinated people crying out because they can't go to the state fair (ours is requiring it),   Truthfully they probably wouldn't have gone anyway, but they feel justified to constantly bitch about it.  

I am vaccinated.  I couldn't wait to get vaccinated.  I understand some people don't want to, and support their right to remain unprotected.  But don't expect a lot of sympathy from me when consequences have to be paid.

Love, 365

What have I gotten myself into?......

Not long ago, I saw an ad where you make your own towels.  You buy the fabric (shown above).  Cut out the size from the patterns.  Hem each side.  Then wash, and you supposedly get:

these fluffy, waffle weave towels.  The magic apparently happens when you wash and dry them.  I don't know if I'm going to have the same success as is pictured here, but I should.  This is apparently easy. Not so sure yet, because just cutting them out was a giant pain.  Unfortunately the fabric on sale is an off white, which is not the color of towel I ever buy!  We are dirty kids :D

What can I say?  I'm looking for small sewing projects, which I thought this would be, but it's turning out to be a bit larger and more complicated than I thought.  

I am also creating some bookmarks to give away at Christmas to my book reading friends.  Since I have my sewing machine out, I'm going to work on those today and tomorrow too.  

Well, I best get on with it.  Wish me luck!!

Love, 365

Later on........

Cutting the fabric...it is so large, but I'm following instructions.  

 

The final product.  It turned out exactly as promised!  I did use it last night, but due to the linen, there were tiny pieces that I felt on my skin.  A few more washings will take care of that.  The color is closer to the top photos, the photo shows it to be more yellow.  Overall I'm really happy with this project, but I am not done yet, I still have to make the hand towels and wash cloths. 

Oh, my...I'm bothering the neighbors :-)

 

Peach/blueberry scones from my new cookbook (oh, yes I did buy another one) "Just Peachy" by Belinda Smith-Sullivan.  I purchased it while in Comfort, Texas during my trip.  I should have waited and bought it online for a lot less $$, but what can I say, I can be impulsive.  They turned out really well, except I rolled them out too thin, so they were sort of like a soft cookie that looked like a scone, haha.  We have one person from England and one from Canada, they can be rather picky when it comes to their scones.

In the meantime, I have been disturbing the neighbors.  Before we had to make an impromptu trip to Texas, I had ordered a bra ~ my seemingly never to be satisfied desire to find a comfortable one that I could wear to work, but mostly for home.  After my breast cancer, I can barely tolerate underwires.   So far, the search has been really disappointing.  And ladies, do you hate those cup thingies that slip inside a teeny tiny little slit?  And you have to take it out before washing supposedly.  I hate those things.  

Anyway, before we left for the trip I received a "your order arrived!" notice by email.  Nothing in my mailbox though, and after three days, I emailed them that I've not seen it in my box.  So, they sent me another one, and asked that if the first one ever shows up, to please return it.  Ok.  No problem.  So, of course, the second one arrives while we're out of town.  My mail is on hold, so I figured I would get it on Monday when I pick everything up.  

Only, when I picked up the mail, none of the expected packages were there.  USPS ~ oh, my I think they are totally overwhelmed with packages.  The lady helping me said she needed the tracking numbers, which would not come up on my phone, so I went home and listed them, called them back.  30 minutes later I received a call that all the packages have been found ~ with the exception of the bra(s).  After a lot of research, I discovered that somehow, while I was ordering, I put in the wrong address.  I called my neighbor Emily, and asked her if she knew the folks that live down the street from us, and she did.  She sent me their contact info, and I called and explained what I was calling about.  And wow, was she annoyed.  "I don't have any packages that don't have my name on them", oh and did Emily give you my contact number??  Uh oh.  I had jumped the gun and discovered hers was not the address I was looking for.  Yesterday I arrived at the correct address, and lo and behold, the young lady who answered the door had both packages.  

I think I won't order things on my phone anymore, unless it's Amazon.  And I certainly don't want to annoy Julie again.  She did not sound happy.

I know most of my neighbors, but a few of the houses in our cul-de-sac are renters, and we haven't bothered to get to know them.  Have I ever mentioned Romeo is not very sociable?  Ha ha.  

Have a great weekend, y'all.

Love, 365

May she rest in peace, and her memory be eternal........

 

I believe this is a high school photo...

Mom was a hard worker......she rarely missed a day of work, and was always on time.  She worked as a legal secretary for military big wigs.

Mom, with son #1 and first grandson......

She was still living in her home of over 50 years in this photo with me.

This photo is from March of this year....Mom with her caregiver.  He was such a great advocate with her doctors and nurses.  They were once married ~ it's a really long story that isn't important now, but sometime I'll give you the run down, because it's both interesting and bizarre.

So, Mom passed away early this morning.  My sis texted me to call her (we set this up a few weeks ago), but I have my phone set on "do not disturb" (family is not included in that), but I guess texts don't count at 3 am.  I saw it at 5:30 this morning when my alarm went off.  Lots of tears.  Romeo held me for the longest time, and we both just cried our eyes out.  Since then I've managed to hold it together most of the time anyway.  I lost it at Hobby Lobby because Mom loved crafts.  She did embroidery, quilting, painting (you know, like step stools, recipe boxes, small benches and that sort of thing), crochet, and probably lots of other things I'm not thinking of.  Random times, I will find tears rolling down my face. 

How I will miss talking to her on Sunday. Even though the last few months she didn't really have much to say as her dementia had worsened after having the Covid Delta variant.  But she was my Mom, I called her anyway :-)

How I will miss her.

Love, 365

Constant texting.....and life still moves on.

 1964?  My best guess.  My Mom, my sister (left) and myself.  We were living in Okinawa then.  I remember some things about it, but I haven't kept up my Japanese, haha.

I truly thought my Mom would pass while I was there.  Hadn't had anything to eat for a week.  Was only able to take a teaspoon of water at a time.  But she has hung on.  Now she is in a coma, and unresponsive to touch or voice.  Hasn't had even a tiny sip of water since Thursday.  Because my Mom was quite heavy, her "reserves" are keeping her going for now.  Still, I think it will be very soon.  We can't be without water for very long.  All I can do is pray.  It is excruciating for those of us waiting.  I will not post again until she has passed, because it's really depressing to have to write about it over and over.

Wouldn't you know, the day we returned, the vet came by with Sioux's ashes and a great plaster cast of her paw.  Which of course, picked the scab of our healing right off.  

Romeo says this has been the worst year ever.  And I agree.  Covid.  Sioux.  Mom.  The issue with our priest.  If someone had told me what would happen in 2021, I'd have been tempted to do a little time traveling.

Yesterday my sister had not been feeling good and thought she might have the Delta variant, but today she feels fine, so probably not.  I had sent a text to my OM (office manager) yesterday letting her know and asked if she wanted me to wait until I'd had a test before returning.  Oh, no, she's ok with me coming in on Tuesday until there's a positive test.  This,  although almost half of our staff is not vaccinated.  The reason being is because two of our front desk people are out.  So, basically she's willing for me to potentially expose everyone for convenience.  I have no symptoms, and since my sis said she's feeling better today, I doubt seriously I've been exposed, but really?  No, seriously, really????  Shows where the priorities lie.  Of course, she's out of town until Sept. 3.  **Remember Ami what I said about no perfect job??? :D

Yesterday I baked 2 pies, made a loaf of sourdough bread, a batch of egg salad, washed and vacuumed the car (Romeo and I did that together)...and went to a Saturday evening church service.  I just didn't feel I could stop doing stuff, just to keep the thoughts at a dull roar.  Today I'm doing laundry....moved out some decorative items out so I could make room for my cookbooks.  Waiting for the season premier of Walking Dead, their final season.  Tomorrow I'll get my hair cut and pick up a weeks worth of mail that I had on hold.  

I hope all of you have a good week!

Love, 365

Back home......

 

Sorry for the crappy photo....I haven't yet gone through and tidied them up (removing the road, for instance).  As we traveled south through New Mexico, we were amazed at how green everything was.  For August, it's amazing.  Usually things are dead and brown.   And the greenery didn't stop there, it continued through east Texas, where we were really amazed.  I told Romeo that if folks had charming accents and wore plaid, and there were more trees, it might be Ireland ~ haha.

We left yesterday around 9:30, but this time we stopped in Las Cruses and spent the night before returning home.  At least we had some good Mexican food there.  Then a four hour drive, and we were back home.  So good to be home again.

Based on the hospice nurse's prediction, I thought my Mom would have passed by now.  But she is still hanging on, but it is near the end.  Her vitals are dropping, and her O2 levels are too.  My sister visited today, and said that she knew they were there, and gave a small smile.  Did not open her eyes but once, and not sure if she could see anything.  So, the watch continues.  I pray as often as I can.

Not sure what to do for the rest of today.  I unpacked, put everything away.  The car needs a thorough cleaning which we might do tonight.  The bugs!  Moths and beetles and grasshoppers, and lots of other things.  Baked on.  That's what happens when there's so much rain I suppose.  

So, I hope all of you enjoy your weekend!

Love, 365

All the crappy things go in threes I guess.........

 

If you've read my blog at all lately, you know what occurred last weekend.  On Tuesday I had a call from my sister that our Mom is not doing well at all.  I don't remember, did I mention that her dementia and Parkinson's worsened considerably after contracting the Delta variant?  One of the major issues is the difficulty in swallowing.  She is currently only drinking water from a spoon, a teaspoon or so at a time, and she can barely get that down. She is no longer taking the medications, and that is likely why her condition has deteriorated over the past 4 days.  

We drove to Texas yesterday, since we don't have the difficulty of driving with a dog, and dealing with her not getting along with other dogs (my sister has quite a big dog).  Romeo said we could do the drive in one day since there are two of us driving.  I don't know if we will drive back in one day or not ~ I am hoping I can talk Romeo into stopping somewhere to spend the night on the way back, because that drive is a killer.  The map says 10 hours, 20 min.  But you do have to stop to get gas, pee, eat something.  All in all, it took about 13 hours, and I don't remember those stops adding up to over 2 hours.  We ate the lunch we packed in the cooler standing up in the parking lot of a gas station.  For Pete's sake.  It's not the traffic, which wasn't bad.  So....not sure I trust Google maps.  Their time estimation sucks.

My sister and I went to see Mom today.  It was quite grim.  She is sleeping or dozing most of the time.  And because of the throat problem, she whispers, but at the same time slurring her words, so we can't understand 90%.  The estimate is that she will pass away in one to two weeks.  I would be surprised if she lives more than another week.  We will be visiting her again on Monday....that should give me a good idea of how much longer she will be with us.  

The third issue is now resolved, but apparently there was a group of Greek parishioners that were attempting to remove our priest.  They weren't successful, but it was another layer of stress for Romeo and I.  We just can't imagine why.  He is a wonderful priest ~ but I suppose they want a Greek.  What really blew my mind was that they were not truthful in their argument.  What the hell kind of person lies to remove a priest?  No wonder christian's get such a bad rap.  They are lying to one priest about another..... Ugh.  

One thing is that Romeo is distracted and handling the loss of Sioux much better.  So, there is that.  

I'm trying to figure out what to do when my Mom passes away.  Do I come back?  There won't be a "service" really.  She has already made her final arrangements.  In her will my sister and I will split her remaining assets 1/2 and 1/2.  I'm not sure what to do there.  Guess I'll figure it out.  My brain feels scrambled.  

If you are inclined to pray or whatever, please do.

Love, 365

Spending time with the crickets.........

 

There's a big empty spot where her bed always has been...........

I have a few more things to say about Sioux.....She did make it through the night, surprising both of us.  We comforted her ~ but she would not even drink water, which was surprising ~ she had even come downstairs with Romeo later in the evening on Saturday (thank God for the pain medication the vet gave us).  

Here is my shout out to mobile vets ~ we were so grateful that someone could come on Sunday.  A woman had come into the office and mentioned she worked for a mobile vet, and I had her card.  Dr Gonzales came with his assistant around 11:30.  I had asked they not ring the doorbell, just to keep Sioux from getting excited and barking, but she did anyway.  In some ways it was a bit comical to see her jump from her dog bed, this unsteady, scrawny dog doing her job.  And he was wonderful.  Compassionate.  Not in a rush, but slowly explaining, and caring for us and her.  She left this life very peaceably.  

After paying him ~ yeah, it was expensive but worth every penny ~ we just grabbed our keys and cell phones and drove to Santa Fe.  Where we grieved and walked around and talked about her, and what a wonderful dog she was.  Remember me mentioning we would never have another dog?  On the drive, we discussed the possibility.  Because without her, we realize how much we will miss the companionship and love that a dog brings to your family.  

The hard part was returning from the short trip and not hearing her bark, her tail wag banging against the door, greeting us as we returned home.

For some weird reason there was a collection of old wagons on a side street.  

The Pink Coyote, a nice restaurant we've eaten in many times....at one time it was someone's home, and small intimate dining areas fill the rooms.  

So, here I am, at 4am, writing an addition to her eulogy.  Goodbye, sweetheart.  You will remain forever in our hearts and memories.

Love, 365