August 28, 2021

Oh, my...I'm bothering the neighbors :-)


Peach/blueberry scones from my new cookbook (oh, yes I did buy another one) "Just Peachy" by Belinda Smith-Sullivan.  I purchased it while in Comfort, Texas during my trip.  I should have waited and bought it online for a lot less $$, but what can I say, I can be impulsive.  They turned out really well, except I rolled them out too thin, so they were sort of like a soft cookie that looked like a scone, haha.  We have one person from England and one from Canada, they can be rather picky when it comes to their scones.

In the meantime, I have been disturbing the neighbors.  Before we had to make an impromptu trip to Texas, I had ordered a bra ~ my seemingly never to be satisfied desire to find a comfortable one that I could wear to work, but mostly for home.  After my breast cancer, I can barely tolerate underwires.   So far, the search has been really disappointing.  And ladies, do you hate those cup thingies that slip inside a teeny tiny little slit?  And you have to take it out before washing supposedly.  I hate those things.  

Anyway, before we left for the trip I received a "your order arrived!" notice by email.  Nothing in my mailbox though, and after three days, I emailed them that I've not seen it in my box.  So, they sent me another one, and asked that if the first one ever shows up, to please return it.  Ok.  No problem.  So, of course, the second one arrives while we're out of town.  My mail is on hold, so I figured I would get it on Monday when I pick everything up.  

Only, when I picked up the mail, none of the expected packages were there.  USPS ~ oh, my I think they are totally overwhelmed with packages.  The lady helping me said she needed the tracking numbers, which would not come up on my phone, so I went home and listed them, called them back.  30 minutes later I received a call that all the packages have been found ~ with the exception of the bra(s).  After a lot of research, I discovered that somehow, while I was ordering, I put in the wrong address.  I called my neighbor Emily, and asked her if she knew the folks that live down the street from us, and she did.  She sent me their contact info, and I called and explained what I was calling about.  And wow, was she annoyed.  "I don't have any packages that don't have my name on them", oh and did Emily give you my contact number??  Uh oh.  I had jumped the gun and discovered hers was not the address I was looking for.  Yesterday I arrived at the correct address, and lo and behold, the young lady who answered the door had both packages.  

I think I won't order things on my phone anymore, unless it's Amazon.  And I certainly don't want to annoy Julie again.  She did not sound happy.

I know most of my neighbors, but a few of the houses in our cul-de-sac are renters, and we haven't bothered to get to know them.  Have I ever mentioned Romeo is not very sociable?  Ha ha.  

Have a great weekend, y'all.

Love, 365

August 25, 2021

May she rest in peace, and her memory be eternal........


I believe this is a high school photo...

Mom was a hard worker......she rarely missed a day of work, and was always on time.  She worked as a legal secretary for military big wigs.

Mom, with son #1 and first grandson......

She was still living in her home of over 50 years in this photo with me.

This photo is from March of this year....Mom with her caregiver.  He was such a great advocate with her doctors and nurses.  They were once married ~ it's a really long story that isn't important now, but sometime I'll give you the run down, because it's both interesting and bizarre.

So, Mom passed away early this morning.  My sis texted me to call her (we set this up a few weeks ago), but I have my phone set on "do not disturb" (family is not included in that), but I guess texts don't count at 3 am.  I saw it at 5:30 this morning when my alarm went off.  Lots of tears.  Romeo held me for the longest time, and we both just cried our eyes out.  Since then I've managed to hold it together most of the time anyway.  I lost it at Hobby Lobby because Mom loved crafts.  She did embroidery, quilting, painting (you know, like step stools, recipe boxes, small benches and that sort of thing), crochet, and probably lots of other things I'm not thinking of.  Random times, I will find tears rolling down my face. 

How I will miss talking to her on Sunday. Even though the last few months she didn't really have much to say as her dementia had worsened after having the Covid Delta variant.  But she was my Mom, I called her anyway :-)

How I will miss her.

Love, 365

August 22, 2021

Constant texting.....and life still moves on.

 1964?  My best guess.  My Mom, my sister (left) and myself.  We were living in Okinawa then.  I remember some things about it, but I haven't kept up my Japanese, haha.

I truly thought my Mom would pass while I was there.  Hadn't had anything to eat for a week.  Was only able to take a teaspoon of water at a time.  But she has hung on.  Now she is in a coma, and unresponsive to touch or voice.  Hasn't had even a tiny sip of water since Thursday.  Because my Mom was quite heavy, her "reserves" are keeping her going for now.  Still, I think it will be very soon.  We can't be without water for very long.  All I can do is pray.  It is excruciating for those of us waiting.  I will not post again until she has passed, because it's really depressing to have to write about it over and over.

Wouldn't you know, the day we returned, the vet came by with Sioux's ashes and a great plaster cast of her paw.  Which of course, picked the scab of our healing right off.  

Romeo says this has been the worst year ever.  And I agree.  Covid.  Sioux.  Mom.  The issue with our priest.  If someone had told me what would happen in 2021, I'd have been tempted to do a little time traveling.

Yesterday my sister had not been feeling good and thought she might have the Delta variant, but today she feels fine, so probably not.  I had sent a text to my OM (office manager) yesterday letting her know and asked if she wanted me to wait until I'd had a test before returning.  Oh, no, she's ok with me coming in on Tuesday until there's a positive test.  This,  although almost half of our staff is not vaccinated.  The reason being is because two of our front desk people are out.  So, basically she's willing for me to potentially expose everyone for convenience.  I have no symptoms, and since my sis said she's feeling better today, I doubt seriously I've been exposed, but really?  No, seriously, really????  Shows where the priorities lie.  Of course, she's out of town until Sept. 3.  **Remember Ami what I said about no perfect job??? :D

Yesterday I baked 2 pies, made a loaf of sourdough bread, a batch of egg salad, washed and vacuumed the car (Romeo and I did that together)...and went to a Saturday evening church service.  I just didn't feel I could stop doing stuff, just to keep the thoughts at a dull roar.  Today I'm doing laundry....moved out some decorative items out so I could make room for my cookbooks.  Waiting for the season premier of Walking Dead, their final season.  Tomorrow I'll get my hair cut and pick up a weeks worth of mail that I had on hold.  

I hope all of you have a good week!

Love, 365

August 20, 2021

Back home......


Sorry for the crappy photo....I haven't yet gone through and tidied them up (removing the road, for instance).  As we traveled south through New Mexico, we were amazed at how green everything was.  For August, it's amazing.  Usually things are dead and brown.   And the greenery didn't stop there, it continued through east Texas, where we were really amazed.  I told Romeo that if folks had charming accents and wore plaid, and there were more trees, it might be Ireland ~ haha.

We left yesterday around 9:30, but this time we stopped in Las Cruses and spent the night before returning home.  At least we had some good Mexican food there.  Then a four hour drive, and we were back home.  So good to be home again.

Based on the hospice nurse's prediction, I thought my Mom would have passed by now.  But she is still hanging on, but it is near the end.  Her vitals are dropping, and her O2 levels are too.  My sister visited today, and said that she knew they were there, and gave a small smile.  Did not open her eyes but once, and not sure if she could see anything.  So, the watch continues.  I pray as often as I can.

Not sure what to do for the rest of today.  I unpacked, put everything away.  The car needs a thorough cleaning which we might do tonight.  The bugs!  Moths and beetles and grasshoppers, and lots of other things.  Baked on.  That's what happens when there's so much rain I suppose.  

So, I hope all of you enjoy your weekend!

Love, 365

August 14, 2021

All the crappy things go in threes I guess.........


If you've read my blog at all lately, you know what occurred last weekend.  On Tuesday I had a call from my sister that our Mom is not doing well at all.  I don't remember, did I mention that her dementia and Parkinson's worsened considerably after contracting the Delta variant?  One of the major issues is the difficulty in swallowing.  She is currently only drinking water from a spoon, a teaspoon or so at a time, and she can barely get that down. She is no longer taking the medications, and that is likely why her condition has deteriorated over the past 4 days.  

We drove to Texas yesterday, since we don't have the difficulty of driving with a dog, and dealing with her not getting along with other dogs (my sister has quite a big dog).  Romeo said we could do the drive in one day since there are two of us driving.  I don't know if we will drive back in one day or not ~ I am hoping I can talk Romeo into stopping somewhere to spend the night on the way back, because that drive is a killer.  The map says 10 hours, 20 min.  But you do have to stop to get gas, pee, eat something.  All in all, it took about 13 hours, and I don't remember those stops adding up to over 2 hours.  We ate the lunch we packed in the cooler standing up in the parking lot of a gas station.  For Pete's sake.  It's not the traffic, which wasn't bad.  So....not sure I trust Google maps.  Their time estimation sucks.

My sister and I went to see Mom today.  It was quite grim.  She is sleeping or dozing most of the time.  And because of the throat problem, she whispers, but at the same time slurring her words, so we can't understand 90%.  The estimate is that she will pass away in one to two weeks.  I would be surprised if she lives more than another week.  We will be visiting her again on Monday....that should give me a good idea of how much longer she will be with us.  

The third issue is now resolved, but apparently there was a group of Greek parishioners that were attempting to remove our priest.  They weren't successful, but it was another layer of stress for Romeo and I.  We just can't imagine why.  He is a wonderful priest ~ but I suppose they want a Greek.  What really blew my mind was that they were not truthful in their argument.  What the hell kind of person lies to remove a priest?  No wonder christian's get such a bad rap.  They are lying to one priest about another..... Ugh.  

One thing is that Romeo is distracted and handling the loss of Sioux much better.  So, there is that.  

I'm trying to figure out what to do when my Mom passes away.  Do I come back?  There won't be a "service" really.  She has already made her final arrangements.  In her will my sister and I will split her remaining assets 1/2 and 1/2.  I'm not sure what to do there.  Guess I'll figure it out.  My brain feels scrambled.  

If you are inclined to pray or whatever, please do.

Love, 365

August 9, 2021

Spending time with the crickets.........


There's a big empty spot where her bed always has been...........

I have a few more things to say about Sioux.....She did make it through the night, surprising both of us.  We comforted her ~ but she would not even drink water, which was surprising ~ she had even come downstairs with Romeo later in the evening on Saturday (thank God for the pain medication the vet gave us).  

Here is my shout out to mobile vets ~ we were so grateful that someone could come on Sunday.  A woman had come into the office and mentioned she worked for a mobile vet, and I had her card.  Dr Gonzales came with his assistant around 11:30.  I had asked they not ring the doorbell, just to keep Sioux from getting excited and barking, but she did anyway.  In some ways it was a bit comical to see her jump from her dog bed, this unsteady, scrawny dog doing her job.  And he was wonderful.  Compassionate.  Not in a rush, but slowly explaining, and caring for us and her.  She left this life very peaceably.  

After paying him ~ yeah, it was expensive but worth every penny ~ we just grabbed our keys and cell phones and drove to Santa Fe.  Where we grieved and walked around and talked about her, and what a wonderful dog she was.  Remember me mentioning we would never have another dog?  On the drive, we discussed the possibility.  Because without her, we realize how much we will miss the companionship and love that a dog brings to your family.  

The hard part was returning from the short trip and not hearing her bark, her tail wag banging against the door, greeting us as we returned home.

For some weird reason there was a collection of old wagons on a side street.  

The Pink Coyote, a nice restaurant we've eaten in many one time it was someone's home, and small intimate dining areas fill the rooms.  

So, here I am, at 4am, writing an addition to her eulogy.  Goodbye, sweetheart.  You will remain forever in our hearts and memories.

Love, 365

August 7, 2021

Sooner than I thought, but not soon enough...........


My most recent photo of Sioux.  

By the time most of you read this, our dearest Sioux will be gone.  The irritable bowel disease (which was severe), along with the subsequent pancreatitis has taken it's toll.  I mentioned in a previous post that Romeo was still working on keeping her alive.  He wasn't ready, but on Monday I told him that she isn't doing well.  I called the vet again on Wednesday, and she called me back on Thursday.  I gave her all the gory details, told her that she is dying, that she needs euthanasia.  She agreed to fit Sioux into the schedule for yesterday (it seems like a week and it's only been about 30 hours ago).  Instead of euthanasia, she prescribed yet another medication, an appetite stimulant.  Of course, Romeo was relieved, but I was alarmed.

Well, it became apparent early this afternoon that it's not working, she is not eating.  At least we have some pain medication for her, that Romeo gives her every 4 hours.  As of 5 pm, she will not get up, and will yipe and bite if we try to move her.  I immediately called the vet, and to no surprise, they are closed.  The voicemail gives you a number for an emergency vet clinic, but of course they can't come to you and we aren't able to take her to them.  The mobile vet couldn't come this evening.  They will be here tomorrow at 11, which will probably be too late for us to spare her the pain of dying.  

This is our death watch.  Just what I wanted to avoid.  I am so pissed off.  And so incredibly sad.  I doubt either of us will sleep at all tonight.  

I thought I would be writing all of this sometime next week.  She has gone downhill so very fast.  

I never want to go through this again, and so will never own another dog (or cat, or anything else for that matter).  It is just too painful.  Of course the pain lessens with time.  Romeo and I have had dogs for the last 42 years, we've always had a dog and most of the time we've had two.  But I just don't want to do it again and I will miss the companionship, the funny moments, the company.

I've considered all the dogs we have as a gift.  Each one holds a special place in my heart.  

Goodbye, my dearest Sioux.  


Wrap up........


The first photo of Sioux in my photos.  So cute.  But this post isn't about her, I will update later in the week or next weekend.

Retirement: that wonderful word that expresses both wonder and fear.  Freedom to pursue what ever you want to do.  Fear, because that bi-monthly paycheck will disappear.  Yikes.  

In June I decided I would work only one more year.  There are debts I need to pay off.  I already increased my contribution from my paycheck toward retirement.  I am making great progress, and if I can continue it, I will be set to give the office my resignation letter.  If I do better than my plans, I could leave sooner!  But that isn't likely.  My only regret is that I'll have to drive to work through another winter.  Perhaps it will only snow on Friday or Saturday, ha ha ha.  

It will be so nice to make plans to go somewhere and then just go....

This last one: funny, not funny, Lol.

Love 365

August 3, 2021

Dang it.........

Last week my Mom tested positive for Covid. It has affected her dementia and Parkinson's in a terrible way.  She's now on liquid morphine, which is not good.  I think I need to go visit very much sooner than later.

Three months ago our dog begins the longest decline towards the inevitable on record.  I have suggested euthenasia to Romeo a few times.  The most recent time was late last week.  His response was "no, no, no, I'm not ready".  I have called the vet twice, neither time has she called me back.  Don't understand why, but I will call again tomorrow and if she doesn't call, I'm giving up on it.  I guess we will just wake up one morning and discover poor Sioux passed away in the night.  Which I really really don't want.

Yesterday afternoon my daughter-in-law texted me to let me know son #1 has tested positive for Covid.  I spoke to him an hour ago and he sounds ok.  Said he doesn't feel too bad other than a headache and congestion.  I hope that my DIL doesn't get sick or too sick.  Then there's the kids.  I sure wish they hadn't been exposed, but maybe it's one of those things that is too likely.  

So, there's my three.  I'm done.  I'm always on the edge of tears, trying hard to hold them back.  When will this be over (with Sioux).   It's like being stuck in a box with a snake in it.

Sorry for the debbie downer post, y'all.

Love, 365

August 1, 2021

Volleyball and other athletic pursuits......


Did you watch the U.S. women's beach volleyball team win their match, in the pouring rain?  I was amazed they could play so well in a downpour.  You would think the ball would be slippery, but they seemed to have it together.  

I'm still spending most of my tv time watching the games.  Currently watching Claes and Sponcil in their game against Canada.  I thoughts the Canadian team is pretty good, but so far USA is ahead.  

I love watching volleyball, and especially beach volleyball ~ probably because it's such an incredibly tough game. It's a real challenge to cover the playing field with just 2.  The men's team had some tough competition, and haven't had the consistent success the women have. 

The luncheon went well.  People ate the food I prepared, which is a win-win. When we left to go home, we were exhausted!  It's going to be a chill day for the afternoon.......

I will however, do my laundry, which is ready for the dryer.....enjoy your week to come!

Love, 365

I get it......

  My face when I realize my 23 year old replacement at work believes I'm a washed up old has-been, haha. Me, thinking, that in 3 days I&...