Garden flowers......
I made the drive to Texas without much trouble....except for driving through El Paso, where those people are just crazy. I think I'm going to change my route to avoid it on my trip back. Ugh. I'm sorry, but that is one ugly town.
It is very dry here, but yesterday there were showers that helped cool things down a little bit, but the humidity! I am not acclimated to that anymore. I love my hot and dry much better than hot and steamy. Since we aren't allowed inside the assisted living facility, we have to visit with Mom through the window. The screens are fairly dark, making it hard for us to see inside, although I think they can see us ok. Those visits don't last very long, it is just so blasted hot. Still, it is good to see her and see that she seems comfortable. On the negative side, she is refusing physical therapy (which has always been a problem). Her caregiver ~ who is staying with her at the assisted living ~ thinks it's due to her dementia, but my sis and I think it's more due to stubbornness.
My Mom is a lifelong sewist (someone who sews). She made us clothes, and later began embroidery, crochet, and eventually found her love of quilting. She has made many quilts over the years. When they moved her to assisted living, I was not happy that Mom insisted that she wanted all of her quilts there. I was worried about theft ~ they are valuable, and very nicely done. To our surprise, she asked my sister and I to come and she would decide which quilts she would keep there, and which ones she would let us take. We now have the majority of them, but she wasn't up to letting them all go yet. Then we had to find a way to fairly divide the quilts between the two of us. Which could be bad, because there are a few that we both loved! We divided them into sizes, which luckily enough was stacks of equal number. At one point, when the choice was simply impossible, we flipped a coin and one of us called it and then made their choice. We did bargain a little bit ~ one quilt she really wanted, so I asked for one of our Grandmother's clocks that I always coveted, along with the quilt that wasn't quite as popular.....this all seems so stupid, but the quilts mean so much to us. We've thrown out tons of photos, but the quilts ~ that was emotional.
Actually it's all emotional. To stand in the living room and Mom is not there ~ that got to me. To realize she won't ever step foot in her house of 52 years. Never look out to watch the birds, or ask us to water a plant, or change out the wreath by the door (yes, she had a wreath by the door for every season). Saturday was really difficult for me. Sunday was a little bit better, but when my boys came I noticed my youngest was very quiet. He texted me later to let me know he was having a tough time with it, which made me so sad! We are all struggling not only with emptying and selling the house, but Mom's refusal to do anything to improve her health. My sister gets the worst of it because she lives here and can actually do something, whereas all I can do is call or text. I just do my best to deal with my guilt that I am not around to help much.
Well, wasn't this cheerful!
Have a great week!
Love, 365
You want cheerful - you're with your family - wait until you get home. LOL
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the land of hot and humid. It is only 93 today and the humidity is down to 86%. So sticky as hell but better than last week. No need to shower, you will be soaked if you go outside in 5 minutes. My hair doesn't like humidity, makes it flat as a pancake. I am yearning for fall. Thank God for A/C. If I go to my family home there is literally nothing that means anything to me that I don't already have from my mom's death. So I'm off the hook there. Hope the rest of your week goes well! Stay cool and for the love of God you're in Texas - wear a mask! :-)
Lol, you don't need to remind me to wear a mask in the land of good ol' boys. They have their own rules, which is probably why the virus is spiking here. So far, most people are wearing masks, but I have seen a few that weren't.
DeleteWe drove through Texas from Illinois. So huge. I thought we would never see any other state.
ReplyDeleteWhen my mom died in Illinois, we flew from Calif to Illinois, my sister from Ohio. My brother lived there. It was hard. We took the photos, some were b/w from the 40s on. Then we each chose a few things that meant something to us.
I am sorry for Mom's passing.
Thank you Susan...she has not passed, just gone to assisted living. The space she is in is very very tiny, so we are having to sell (after family found things they wanted). And the photos....there are literally thousands. Found some real gems of our Mom when she was 18, and a diary from when she was 15. It has been sad, interesting, and sometimes funny.
DeleteIt doesn't need to be cheerful. I've been down that same road, cleaning out my parents' home with my siblings (and wasn't that fun!?!) after my father died and my mother had to move first to a senior's apartment in a city after living her entire life in the country. Then we did it again when she had to go from the senior's apartment to a nursing home. There are many emotions involved. Hang in there! It sounds like you and your sister are going about things in a very reasonable fashion. -Jenn
ReplyDeleteThank you! It is something we all have to go through eventually. We did have a bit of bad news on Tuesday. Apparently there isn't enough "value" to doing an estate sale. That was devastating news, because that means we have to figure out what to do with the furniture that no one has room for (or wants). Plus now we have to donate all the donateable things like dishes and cookware. But I think we have a plan now, so moving forward!
DeleteHow wonderful to have all those quilts. They are heirlooms which will go on for many generations.
ReplyDeleteA pity you couldn't see your mother close up but at least you got almost-face time
I hate humidity. Heat is bad enough but when sweat is dripping it's just miserable.
Ugh, that humidity was horrible. There had been a heavy rain shower an hour or so before and it was really oppressive. It sure would have been great to see Mom and give her a hug, but we do what we have to do.
DeleteThe quilts are fabulous. So beautiful. I will post some pictures when I am back home.
Don't throw your unwanted photos away - there will surely be photo archive somewhere that might digitize them. Who knows what future research project they may go to assist. It's difficult one there is no one left alive who remembers the generations recorded in the photos. I am the keeper of some our our family's history but have no children so how does one generate an interest for someone else to take it on? The quilts sound fabulous, and I can see those going on long after the generations have lost direct touch with their creator. Would your Mum use a tablet to get some video face time with you once you return home?
ReplyDeleteMy oldest son wants to schedule a family zoom meeting every Sunday (which I think is too frequent) but that will go a small way to staying in touch. I don't think our Mom/Grandmom will be very in to it.
DeleteThe quilts are great. I did get an older one from my Grandmother's sister that my sis will do a bit of repair on.