Courtesy Google images.
Lately I've been thinking of my choices....nah, nothing mind blowing or anything, but why I like sad songs, why I prefer "dark" movies (not horror, although I do love a good zombie flik). If you listened to my i-pod you might look at me in horror. I have to watch many movies of my choice when Romeo isn't home "Wow, how depressing" or "Do we have to watch this?". Case in point, I ran across a movie I'd never seen before called 8mm...Nicholas Cage is in it (OK, whatever, I do like some of his movies & think he's a good guy). Very dark movie about a PI who is looking to bring to justice a group of men who made a snuff film that was real.
And after a bit of thought I realized what I like is the pursuit of JUSTICE. This is why I like dark movies like 8mm, Silence of the Lambs (altho there wasn't as much justice in that one), Citizen X. I suppose that there have been some crappy situations I have got myself into, and I'm constantly seeking either justice or closure. Still looking in some instances, got it in others. I suppose that there are times that I wish I had had that fairy tale childhood, but that just didn't happen. It wasn't terrible. It just wasn't great. It happens, and probably happens more often than we know. And I sometimes make terrible decisions based on my childhood experiences.
Lukily I have a wonderful husband and kids. I have a wonderful support system of friends and family. I'm very fortunate in many ways, which takes the sting out of some of the crappy parts. But, it's kinda weird. I accept that about myself.
Love, 365
Eric likes to watch reality shows. He particularly likes shows like Cops, where they bust a variety of losers and assholes. It was hard for me to figure out, since he grew up surrounded by a lot of those same kinds of people, or at least after his drunk of a mother started dragging him from man to man and bar to bar. Shitty childhood. I finally figured out that he likes seeing them get busted. He was helpless as a kid, seeing that same kind of stuff.
ReplyDeleteSo I don't think you're weird... I *get* it.