Uh, scratch that make everyone else happy part.....I've no time for that nonsense.
I just spend an hour and a half quickly doing my reading for the week ~ which I normally do on Sunday afternoon ~ and taking my reading quiz. We get 20 minutes, and I finished it in 8. 10 out of 10. I hate those reading quizzes, even though I understand the rationale behind them. Remember that the majority (vast, vast majority) of my peers in class are between 19 to 25, and will skip the readings if they can. Oh, hell, what am I saying? I would probably skim them instead of paying close attention except for the quiz. I have quit hand writing notes on the readings, because I realize that taking good notes in class is way better since she emphasizes the stuff she thinks is important. So, I just highlight.
But, the main focus of this post tonight is about my intelligence. Which, regardless of my grade point average, doesn't seem very smart to me. I received my test back today, and even though she wrote some criticism, I still made a 93. No doubt that I studied hard to make sure I would do well. But is it good enough? I feel like I am smart enough to know that I am not as smart as my grades make me out to be. Does that make sense? It's like I should be able to interpret the stuff I'm reading in a more insightful way. And yet, in some ways I feel that college itself doesn't show me how to analyze and reinterpret the stuff I'm reading. It's more like regurgitating the salient points instead of being able to write the underlying message and what it means. ARGHHHHHHH.
See, I can't even adequately explain what it is I'm wanting to express. These are the moments I think the degree is pointless. Which kinda pisses me off ~ I mean, I've spent countless hours, energy, worry, money on obtaining it. Perhaps it's a universal feeling that everyone has at one point, whether in college or not. I just hope that I've not wasted my time and energy working so damn hard to get it.
More than anything, it is a testament to my bull headedness. There have been a few moments of weakness where I thought "this is stupid, what are you doing??", and the worst: "you're too old". And yet I keep on. I persevere. No matter what.
Love, 365
When I was in College frumpty frumph years ago, many classes taught us how to think, not what to think. Not sure school does that as much today.
ReplyDeleteI've only had one class that concentrated on reading/interpreting/formulating an opinion. And it was taught by a grad student.
DeleteWell, you already know my feelings. Education and learning are mutually exclusive states. Education is a business. A racket.
ReplyDeleteIf you're going to college for *you* then that's all that matters. And comparing your smarts/intelligence to what 'they' want or trying to prove yourself to anyone but you is a waste of time.
Kick ass. Stop worrying.
Yes, I agree. I just have to convince myself, hahahahahahahaha. That's a tough audience....
DeleteI was going to say something similiar to Ami - so I won't - just read Ami again. LOL
ReplyDeleteAmi does sum it up best. I think you will get a real education when you do an internship or start working a job in your field but you can't do any of that unless you have that degree.
ReplyDeleteOk! I'm sucking it up!
DeleteYou guys are the best. :-)