Stasis.

After the rain....

It's been a slow morning.  I've been up since 5am ~ I just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep.  At first I just goofed around, playing games on my phone, or reading my latest book.  After eveyone else was up and about, I was able to make coffee and get on the computer to check if I've received my mid-term grade, but there is still nothing.  I called BYU and they said that written tests are given two weeks for grading, so maybe on Monday or Tuesday I will know.  It's the longest I've ever waited for a grade....another reason I won't be doing this type of class again.  So, I've been studying my new chapter, with frequent breaks to play games, watch news, and organize my notes.  

I suppose I have a bit of ADD ~ doesn't everyone to some degree?  When approaching a task I don't enjoy, I have to break it up into 15 or so minute increments.  Otherwise, I feel my thoughts drifting away:  what to have for dinner, the dog needs to go outside, my coffe cup is empty, a new e-mail comes through.  I wish I had the ability to focus for more than a few minutes at a time, even if the task is a misery.  No, especially if the task is a misery.  In a few weeks I will order the final exam for the course, because it will take a week to get here, but I will have 30 days to take it.  I have to complete everything by Oct 30th.  Ugh.  Why do I do this to myself?

And, while I'm bitching here, I'm really tired of people asking me how much longer it will be before I can graduate.  Because it only serves as a reminder at how long this journey is.  And it is longer than I thought it would be.  I alternate between loving it and hating it.  On a beautiful day like today I am inside sitting on my ass studying (ok, well not RIGHT NOW, ha ha) instead of doing any number of things outside.  I think I will take a walk later, a really long one, empty the head.  Just be.  

I hope you have time to "just be" this weekend too.

Love, 365