The limits of patience.....

Yesterday was an interesting day. Much of it stems around the replacement of our roof...something that we really need.  Romeo has been talking about it for years.  It is over 20 years old now.  We haven't had any serious leaks, but there are times when we have a hard rain that comes in a certain direction, we will have some leaks around the living room window, which we have always had a problem with.  Romeo had three different roof estimates done in the past week, and was happy with one of them.  While having a discussion with my sister ~ who works in insurance ~ she said we should have our insurance inspect the roof to see if there will be any coverage at all on it's replacement.  Because each of the estimators mentioned that it is unlikely that it would be covered, Romeo didn't call for that assessment, but I did.  I called at lunch time yesterday and set it up, figuring we would discuss it when I got home.  Little did I know that they would call him 30 minutes later.  And he was upset that I had done it without discussing it with him.  I explained that I didn't realize they would call him before I was home.  I didn't really see the big deal.  If our insurance does find some loss they would cover, then hey!  the replacement would not cost us as much.  It created a bit of tension between us ~ apparently more than I anticipated. 

Later, I texted him that I wanted to go to the gym after work.  He texted that he wouldn't cook the burgers that night then....and later said he would go with me.  Great, we could work off our stresses together then, right?  After an hour at the gym, I strolled over to the racquetball courts to change my shoes in preparation to go home.  And a group of guys I know (racquetball players) asked me to be their 4th in a single game of doubles.  I agreed, since it sounded like it would be a quick game.  About 10 minutes into the game, I noticed Romeo standing by the glass wall...he pointed toward the door, and I thought he was going out to the car.  5 minutes later I changed my shoes to go look for him......and could not find him.  I went out to the parking lot and looked ~ in vain ~ for his car and couldn't find it.  I texted and asked where he was with no reply.  Called with no reply.  Texted that I was walking home.  Which I did, doing a slow burn on the way.  He left me!  I couldn't believe it.  He didn't have his phone on him, it was at home charging.  But while I was walking home, he called, and like a child, I didn't answer.  I was too mad to answer.

So, it seems that I have a habit of not discussing things with him.  I didn't go find him and tell him I was going to play a quick game.  Apparently he thought I was going to be awhile.  It's a classic communication issue, where neither of us is letting the other know what's going on.  And if I had taken a moment to step outside of the court, I would have known that he was ready to go, and I could have told him it would only be a few more minutes. 

As hard as it is to admit, I failed in quite a few ways yesterday.  I didn't say anything when I arrived home......and it was a good thing that it took me 15 minutes to think while I was walking, it gave me time to review my behavior through the eyes of my partner. 

I still feel resentful although I am trying hard not to.  We'll get through this.  And hopefully I've learned something. 

Love, 365