Staring at a blank piece of paper doesn't inspire me.........

(Bing images)

I've actually used this image before......and I'm annoyed that this happens whenever I have a paper to write.  

I have some data.

Printed out a map.

But I have yet to write a single word.  This paper is due in 8 days.  It has to be 6 - 8 pages long.  The best thing about this paper is that it represents the final assignment.  Then I will be free of this class that is soooo depressing.  Because basically it is about the injustices that exist in the world, have always existed, and probably will always exist.  Humph.

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In other news, Romeo has obtained his interim license to teach and can now apply for a teaching position.  He has been substitue teaching at least 2 days a week.  The pay for substitute teaching is abismal, but he has to have at least one job a week to maintain his interim license.  Once school is out for summer he won't have to worry about it, as he has already been told that because of the budget issues for APS (Albuquerque Public Schools) they won't be using substitute teachers.  In one of the schools he was at last week, the EA (educational assistant) mentioned he didn't see how that was going to work, but hey!  I'm sure that the bureaucracy knows what they are doing.  Right?  Sure.

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My honors application is in, and now I'm just waiting for them to approve it so that I can register for the class this fall.  It is being held from 1pm-2:15pm on Mondays and Wednesdays.  I haven't discussed it yet with my co-workers, so I guess I am assuming they will be ok with me being out for two hours twice a week.  I had sent a request to the Anthropology department to please consider non-traditional students when they decide when to hold the honors class.  Looks like I was completely ignored.  What a surprise.  If my co-workers don't agree, I guess I just won't take the honors class, and find something else to do/take.  

Well, gotta get busy.  Love, 365

In honor of dragons........

Bing images search....wish I could draw like this

Game of Thrones, anyone???  We are eagerly anticipating the season premier tomorrow.  We are sooo ready.  We've been watching some of the older seasons to catch up, and it's amazing the details you notice the second time around.  Of course, I love the dragons.  Too bad they are not under Danerous control any longer....but that should be interesting as well.

Bing images....

In other news, I thought I was going to have to shell out major dough to repair my aging SUV.  Wednesday night I noticed my 4 wheel drive indicator was blinking.  It wasn't fully engaged, nor would it fully engage.  Stuck.  So, I called my son who is a mechanic, and he tried all he knew to try and disengage it, to no avail.  I called a tow truck at about 5:40.  They didn't make it to us until 8:10, so I didn't get home until about 8:30.  Nearly 3 hours of frustration and irritation.  I don't know what was going on ~ maybe there were a ton of accidents and broken down vehicles?  I was pretty ticked off though.  If the tow company had been honest with me with a real time frame, Romeo and I would have gone down the street and had dinner while waiting.  But because they kept saying 30-45 minutes, I was concerned that we would be gone when they arrived, thereby leaving me up the creek again.  So....there you go. 

The next morning just as I woke up, I remembered that at luch Wednesday, I was sitting in my SUV, eating lunch and going through my mail, I had taken off my shoes, and was resting my left foot on the dash....near the 4 wheel drive button.  I must have pressed on it with my foot although I don't recall for sure, but I must have!  How else would it have happened?  I've conveniently left off that recollection and not shared with Romeo or my son.  I simply can't admit that I might have pressed that dratted button with my foot.  Nope.  No way.

As it turns out, the jostling of being loaded and off loaded on the tow must have helped disengage the 4 wheel drive, because when the shop started it the next morning, all was well.  But I was sweating it out that we might have a 2-3 thousand dollar repair bill no thanks to me and my stupid left foot.

In sadder news, my eldest called me to let me know that it looks like the marriage is over.  He is looking for an apartment this weekend, and will probably move out next weekend.  I am so sad, but can do nothing but support my son.  I don't live close enough to them to know all the details.  My son is rather upset about it, and all I can do is mutter platitudes over the phone.  Frustrating.  However, I'm happy enough to listen, and offer advise if asked.  Now, what to do with being Facebook friends with my soon to be ex-daughter-in-law??  I have been considering contacting her on FB messenger letting her know that to preserve her privacy on FB, I will be "unfriending" her so that I don't have to read her posts, and she doesn't have to worry about me reading them either.  I don't know the protocol here....what would you do?

Love, 365

I survived......

Here I am in my "blue mood", ha ha

I managed to get through my presentation without embarrasing myself, which I thought was a "win". Right now our printer doesn't work ~ so I e-mailed both my power point presentation and the notes that were supposed to accompany it.  The power point made it, but unfortunately my notes didn't, so I spent my 20 min lunch highlighting in orange the points I wanted to make.  It worked out OK.  It was strictly voluntary, for extra points, so I didn't have to worry about being "correct" in my interpretation.  Holy cow, it was a bitch to read.  I truly dislike "academic writing".  I swear that there is some sort of app that you can run your paper through that will replace some words with fancy ones that make a reader such as myself (and I'm pretty well read, if I do say so myself) have a dictionary handy and use it at least 5-10 times on each page.  I was a bit tempted to put a vocabulary list on one slide of the power point to make my point, but I don't think my Prof. would have found it funny.  

I had a rather disappointing morning at work ~ the Doc wasn't happy with how I scheduled a patient, and although I was able to re-arrange things to suit him, I still felt terrible about it.  He and I just don't speak the same language, and without much feedback, I'm at a loss.  I guess I will need to take the upper hand and try talking to him more often.  It's kind of weird to feel uncomfortable talking to one of my bosses, as I usually don't have a problem talking to anyone ~ at least one on one.  

Well, gotta run, bills to pay, etc! 

Love, 365

Nothing says spring like......snow

Spring snow....Bing images

We have had temp's in the 60's and 70's all week.  Until today, of course.  As I write this, it's 44 degrees, and sprinkling now, but when I left the house this morning at 8:30 it was snowing.  Not enough to blanket the ground.  But rather disappointing.  I was really hoping for some nice warm weather so that I could open the windows and air out the house.  Oh, well, maybe next weekend.

I am feeling much better, and haven't felt the need to take ibuprofen every day as I was for awhile.  But wow, is this allergy season horrible.  I've never had problems like this before!  I am still using the Flonase and it does seem to help, but I'm sick of the congestion and the nose blowing, coughing that is the result.  Hopefully the rain will lesson the effects of the pollen and dust.

Romeo is working on taxes, as we have a weekend reprieve thanks to some obscure "holiday" this past Friday that is apparently only a day off in Washington D.C. ~ Emancipation Day.  Apparently other states observe it on different days....maybe to celebrate it on the signing day for each state???  Ah, who cares, as it extended our filing date.  I hate tax season.

In the meantime, I need to prepare my presentation for Monday.  One saving grace is that we simply get points, and we aren't "graded", since this project is voluntary.  

Have a great weekend, and thanks for visiting!

Love, 365

Sick of being sick

"Cough, sniff, sneeze, blow nose.....repeat" (Bing images)

On Monday, March 28th, I sat at the desk in class preparing to take my mid-term ~ for which I had spent the majority of Easter weekend studying for.  One of the students was to give a presentation just prior to the exam, so I figured I would do a quick review while he was talking.....only he didn't prepare for the correct topic, so our prof. decided to go directly to the exam.  Dolt.  I immediately felt a surge of adrenaline, and a headache.  I stumbled through the exam, barely able to see.  One fill in the bland question completely eluded me, so as I usually do, I did eveything else and came back to it.....and finally decided on an answer, although it just didn't seem right.  

So began the last two weeks of just feeling miserable.  I was taking ibuprophen every day, just to get through it.  Then I decided it must be allergies, as anyone with a nose seems to be suffering from an unusually tough allergy season....although I never take any allergy meds, and haven't had any serious problems since that 3 year period when we lived in Eugene, Oregon.  (The mold, omg, the mold!).  So on Wednesday I ran to Target at lunch and bought some Flonase.  Which takes 3-5 days to truly be effective (damn it!).  Finally by Thursday I decided I had a sinus infection and asked one of my Doc's to prescribe an antibiotic.  Now, four days later, I am finally feeling better.

I never realized how awful sinus infections are, never having had one before.  The low grade fever, the constant headaches from sinus pressure, a general feeling of crappiness. 

On Monday the 4th of April, I had to skip class as one of my co-workers fell off a ladder over the weekend, and tore the ligaments out of her knee (she will need surgery), so I texted my Prof. to let her know, and asked about my exam ~ and found out that I ACED it, and had the highest grade in the class.  You could have knocked me over with a feather.  So, even though I felt like shit, it seems my brain can still churn out the answers....whew.  

Love, 365

The world of machismo......

This photo came up in Bing when I searched for photos of machismo..

Abuse and control over women is part of it.

Another photo that popped up.

Being "everything" is not all it's cracked up to be, it's a lot of pressure.

The positive side of machismo is that they work hard to provide for their families.

The downside: Latino boys in school might be unwilling to ask questions 

in school, because of appearances (I guess asking questions makes you look dumb).

Men may avoid preventive medical care, especially colorectal screenings

out of misinformation, lack of knowledge.  As a result, U.S. Hispanics have 

the fastest growing rate of CRC (colorectal cancer).

There are many more negatives than positives.  I enjoyed reading "Machismo - a Latino Opinion"  Here's a quote:

"The Machismo that I feel is unique to the Latino community is the cultural acceptance of the pretension by both males and females that the man is actually in charge".

And yet, the first thing I thought of was my parents.  My Dad strutted like a peacock, but Mom definitely wore the pants, so I suppose his assumption is wrong.  My family is as white as they come, being German-Irish.  It did make me giggle a bit.

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Yeah, working on my degree is annoying, thrilling, a lot of hard work, and sometimes just drivel.  I recall asking my algebra professor "Why are we learning this?  How will I use it in the real world?" and what a mistake that was, as I was rewarded with a 20 minute long lecture that lost me after 5, and the rest of the class glaring at me as though to say "What, you stupid bitch, compelled you to ask him THAT?"  I learned an important lesson that day ~ never ask a mathematician that type of question.  Ever, lol.

Even though the Health in NM is a giant pain in the butt, I am expanding my awareness of other cultures and different viewpoints.  It's making me a better person, not because I've changed my mind, but because I can take my viewpoint and compare it to what I'm learning....and decide if the opinions I've always had have merit.  

No, I'm not lost.  The journey is amazing.

Love, 365

P.S. I got my raise, and it was more than I hoped for.  Whew.

Anything goes...

The "Spaceship house" in Albuquerque (Bing images)

Nope, never been.  This is one end, the house extends back from this end point.

Happy Easter to you all.....although I have to admit that I find the whole "rising from the dead" just a tad bit unbelievable, although explaining my individual beliefs is not the purpose of this post.  What can I say ~ I often say things in this post that I dare not say in public, because it's really no ones business and I don't want to get into a philosophical debate with anyone either.  Mom constantly told me to never (ever) argue politics or religion ~ with good reason, because unless you are open minded and truly interested in the other persons point of view, it's an arguement.

No, the real reason for this post today is to comment on my current class, "Health in New Mexico".  Which I believe some would characterize as a left leaning, communist bunch of horse shit.  Although I do agree with the concepts of the material, it's really starting to annoy me as it makes me feel like an undeserving white piece of trash.   I can't wait for this class to end.  Here is an example:

1. Historical trauma ~ this is trauma experienced by a social, religious, or ethnic (could apply to other groups as well) groups that continues to effect the group for generations.  Example would be the Jews and the holocaust, any example of ethnic cleansing, and the relocation of Native American tribes (Trail of Tears, etc).  Historical trauma is an attempt to explain the phsychological, physical and social issues they currently experience as the result of the trauma (alcoholism, drug dependence, anxiety, PTSD).  Interestingly, one of the students described how her Grandmother would talk about how many family members were killed in a desperate struggle to escape Germany and Poland.  In fact, our professor is also Jewish and mentioned a story where her Grandmother discovered that her Granddaughter's passport had expired, and what a big deal she made of it ~ "What if you have to leave????".  

I get this one, it makes a lot of sense.  I struggle with the "why can't they get over it and move on" mentality none the less.

2. Microaggressions ~ an example would be telling an Asian professor "You speak English really well!" or "Where were you born?" when the person in question is an American, and was born in San Francisco.  Yeah, this is considered a racist issue because racism is so pervasive in our country that we don't even recognize it.  Ok, I get it.  Personally I would never say anything like that to anyone unless I knew without doubt that this person had just moved to the U.S., although I doubt that gets me off the hook.  

3. Critical race theory ~ again, this is the subject of consistent and pervasive racism by those of European descent to anyone of color.  Because racism is part and parcel of our society.  Hey, if you don't believe me, just google "critical race theory".  You'll find lots of info, some good, some really radical.  CRT is a guide for those that are researching different issues to be mindful that they need to make certain they recognize racism (being denied entrance to college based on ethnicity, same for hiring practices, treatment in hospitals and other medical facilities, etc) and to include that finding in their research so that "everyone knows" (oversimplification).  Again, unless you adhere to the whole "white supremist" bullshit, it is perfectly understandable.  

Here is where I start to feel annoyed by the knowledge that I am part of a system that puts a foot on the neck of anyone who isn't white.  

There is so much more to all of this.  Lots more.

And it's worth learning about, although it's difficult to hear.

Mostly because humans are part of our "animal planet".  And animals are pretty vicious.  If you've ever watched National Geographic, or any other of the shows that give us a glimpse of what life is like for prey and predator.  Driving around town is enough to convince me that we still exist in that philosophy! 

  

We're animals too.  

Until that day ~ if it ever comes ~ where we all decide not to trash the planet, never abuse another human (much less kill others in the name of religion), make sure everyone gets the education they want/deserve, make sure no one ever dies of a disease, create a world where everyone has access to food that maximizes our potential ~ we are still part of the wildness.  

I'd like to see that utopia.  Would you?  

Love, 365

It's the windy season

Typical spring weather...(bing images)

It was one of those windy days that makes you reconsider your wardrobe choice for the day.  One of our local weathermen remarked on that today ~ and it did turn into a very windy, sand blowing in your eyes, dirt floating in the air kind of days.  These are the kind of days that breath life into the tumbleweeds....

Only one?????  (bing images)

The one in the photo above is pretty small.....sometimes they are 10-12 foot in diameter, and kind of freak you out if you see them rolling across the highway.  I don't know if they would truly damage your car, but still.....you just don't want to go there.  And when the wind is big, you find this happening.....

yeeeee....(bing images)

Every spring they show us some photos on the news that show a house underneath a towering mountain of tumbleweeds.  It's no fun to get them out either.  

It wasn't quite this bad today, but close...(bing images)

These are the kind of days where you wear your sunglasses to keep the dirt and sand out of your eyes.  And you feel dirty just walking to your car at the end of the day.   I can still feel it in my hair, and stuck to my face...ugh.

Wellll, I must continue my review for mid-term exam.  

Have a great week...

Love, 365

Spring forward.....again

Rub right there.....ahhhhhhh (Bing images)

In case you missed my Daylight Savings Time rant last year, go here.......

Wow, how time flies by....February marked my one year anniversary at work.  I am sooo happy to be there, but as I've mentioned before in previous posts, not all is flowers and rainbows ~ sadly I've never worked at "flowers and rainbows" ~ because it doesn't exist!  Because we're people, and people are weird and wonderful and exasperating and thoughtful and....well, you get the idea.  Last Tuesday a couple of our younger staff members played a little practical joke on *Violet....just moving stuff around on her desk (because she does have labels on her calculator and is very picky) and putting her chair in the lab.  It was funny, and now of course it's "game on!".  So we shall see what kind of shennanigans goes on from here.  There are 2 dentists in the practice, *Dr H and *Dr T...Dr H was in Germany this past week teaching a course on Cerec (which is a mill machine that makes crowns and inlays and such).  So although we were short one doc, the week was surprisingly busy.  I finally got the new welcome letter typed, and worked on insurance calls ~ which are terribly irritating.  Insurance calls are exactly what they sound like.  We check with your insurance to find out why they haven't processed and paid on your claim.  The responses are so predictable ~ "I don't see any claims for Todd on 2/10/16", or "That claim was denied because they didn't have coverage for that date of service" and so on.  It's slow going, especially if you have to call Blue Cross Blue Shield ~ because they don't have a web site where you can go and check claims....you have to call and wait on hold for 20 minutes (while working on something else of course) ~ and they will only let you ask about 2 different claims even though your list is 80% BCBS claims.  I wish they would develop a web site where we could check your eligibility and claims status.  Cheap bastards.

It's spring break week here at UNM, but other than not having class, it will be really busy.  We have a mid-term exam, ethnographic review, and a paper describing the research we will do that is due at the end of the semester.  Not all on the same day, but close enough.  I haven't even started reading book two yet.

We have had wonderful weather here lately, but it is spring ~ our windy season.  It was nice yesterday morning, but the wind picked up in the afternoon.  Have I ever mentioned how I hate the windy season???

Enjoy your week, and thanks for visiting!

Love, 365

P.S. No, I didn't find out about the raise yet because of the Germany trip.  Guess I'll find out later this week.  Fingers crossed and all that....

How not to ask for a raise in pay.....and other nonsense

Bing images

This was the week I asked for a raise at work.  I have been there for a year, and promised myself I would not procrastinate in asking for more money.  About 8 months or so ago I was chatting with one of the hygienists, and somehow the topic of asking for a raise came up.  I knew I was in trouble when she said to make sure to have a plan, and good luck ~ apparently it is not uncommon for my co-workers to go 3 years without an increase in pay.  So, I've been keeping a list of the ideas and suggestions that I came up with during the year, and went in to the OM's office prepared to wow her with my request....only this is what I did ~ "I want a raise".  Incredible right?  She admitted it was time for it, and would speak with the Dr's and get back with me.  And the very next day, two other co-workers asked for one as well.  I suppose in a way I opened the flood gates.

I love crocuses..Bing images

I figure I will find out next week how much of a raise I will get, because I know I will get an increase.  I know what I'd like (not unreasonable), but I don't really have any idea.  The OM (office manager) has no idea what the current average pay is for those of us that work the front desk ~ because when one of my co-workers asked, she was told "you're already at the top of the pay scale", which is obviously not true.  "Patty" left for one job offer, ended up quitting that one and ended up working for another dental office that is paying her more than any of the rest of us are getting.  

Dogwood....Bing images

So, I know I will get some sort of increase, and really it won't matter how small or big it is, because I really enjoy working there.  Plus, I don't think it's a good idea to start a job search while Romeo is still looking.  Actually, Romeo is embarking on a new career path as a teacher.  He has to obtain his teaching certificate, but I know he will do well & have it in hand as soon as it is possible to finish the course work.  In the meantime, as soon as he is enrolled in the classes he can teach on a "provisional" license, once he's done the background check.  The downside is that he most likely won't have a full time position until the fall, since the school year is winding down, although summer school is coming up, so who knows?  He was actually offered a position, but the pay was dismal.  We agreed that taking a risk in turning that job down and moving forward with teaching was the best bet.  

In the meantime, I must get busy with a short paper I need to turn in on Monday!  

Enjoy your weekend....Love, 365

Reflection Sunday

It was a lovely day here in Albuquerque....(Bing images)

~This past week my ex-husband was swept off of a ladder while trimming a tree.  He broke 7 ribs, and fractured vertebrae, and underwent 4 hours of surgery whereby the surgeon informed the family that he nearly severed his spinal column.  Luckily he is not paralyzed as is a good friend of one of the dentists I work with, while doing the same.  Please do not trim the tall trees yourself, and hire a professional.  I wonder how many people are seriously injured while trying to save a few bucks.  

~Today my sister called to let me know that Mom is in the hospital again.  This time the diagnosis is both dementia and congestive heart failure.  She will apparently be in the hospital about a week, but the breathing treatments are already helping, and her oxygen levels have risen to near normal levels.  I mentioned to her that low oxygen levels will seriously impair cognitive function, and although I am willing to concede that she may have dementia, her health issue isn't really helping.  Again, I feel guilty that I am too far away to help.  

~I am not unfamiliar with trying to save money, as Romeo is still on unemployment.  He's been on 5 (or is it 6?) interviews that unfortunately didn't go anywhere.  There is still a possibility of one position in Santa Fe, but it has been almost 2 weeks, and he hasn't heard anything.  Again I proposed that he should check into teaching, and this time I managed to convince him that he truly has much to offer.  As he has 2 masters degrees (and MBA and a Masters in Microbiology), all he really lacks at this point is a teaching certificate, and we are hoping that the promise of money to pay for education (through the unemployment office) will work for us.  If he can at least get it started, we can probably (?) manage from there.  The main issue with teaching is the time of year ~ we must expect that he may not have a full time position until the fall.  I have no idea how often he might be called to substitute teach.  

~At the same time, my studies are making me painfully aware of how priviledged a life we lead regardless of Romeo's unemployment status.  I mentioned to my sister today that although we are getting by, I am still pulling $$ out of the stash I set aside when he was laid off.  I estimate that it will last a few more months, and then things will really get interesting.  But, I've wandered from my previously mention privilege where we know that we have plenty to eat in our house, and a wonderful house to live in (altho it's not yet paid for), and that we have two cars that are paid for.  This is in stark contrast to families that wonder what they will be eating tomorrow.  The topic in class tomorrow is food disparities, or food insecurities, which has replaced "hunger" in the educational literature.   Romeo and I talked for a bit about the public and social network shaming that goes on when someone who isn't on food assistance sees someone who is, buy a steak, or a bottle of wine, or some other "luxury" item that they can't afford themselves.   I think we all agree that there are abuses of the system, but we shouldn't be assuming that the lady with the steak and bottle of wine in her basket is doing so.....perhaps she is planning to prepare an anniversary dinner, because they can't afford to go to a nice restaurant and don't wish to go to Denny's.  And who could blame her for that?  I don't know the answer, but I think we all need to let the "powers that be" work on routing out the abusers and let people be.  I would be murderously furious if I were on the receiving end of that kind of dialogue.

And on that happy note, I shall sign off.  Have a wonderful week!

Love, 365